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Dona Caine-Francis offers a variety of articles related to anxiety and sex therapy, couples and marriage counseling, and medication management to help individuals nurture their emotional and sexual health. 

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5 Tips to Fabulous Sex with Aging

Updated: Aug 23, 2018

Discover how to have amazing sex at any age in life...

Sexual performance--there may be less energy or desire to enter into sexual acts, and erectile dysfunction may hinder performance. Talk with your partner, you may need to be sexual earlier in the day and not wait until the evening. See a sex therapist and discuss the possibilities. Medications may also be helpful (the little blue pill)!


Reduced arousal--women often require more direct stimulation and longer time spent to produce those loving feelings. Can she ask for this or fears reprisal? Or thoughts may be, "It takes so long, just forget it." Communicate your needs, don't let fear erode your sexual life. You might consider a fun vibrator to get the party started.


Pain during sex--today clinicians tell me they are seeing more and more vaginal atrophy, and women who have abandoned sex due to the intense pain. Pelvic health programs are available to treat those conditions and more. Talk to providers, do your research or look in the larger cities for facilities that specialize.


General lack of interest--relationships change, you may be less attracted to your partner. Rifts can occur that don't allow for the closeness that you once felt. Libido or desire maybe diminished as a side effect of meds. Consider small excursions into sexual connection like a shared body massage, hot bath together, or a blind fold while you explore your partner's body as an alternative to intercourse.


Physical obstacles arising from disease or health concerns--a couple may be very sexually active and then her heart disease or his diabetes comes along and challenges this connection. Don't let the fear of another heart attack stop the sexual heat between you. If she can climb a set of stairs without feeling exerted and she has the go ahead from her provider, having sex with her partner is fine. And although diabetes and damaged flow of blood to the vessels in the penis may make for a less firm erection, don't stop being sexually close. A penis ring used for a 20-minute sexual encounter works great or a vacuum pump to the penis can bring new life.

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© 2018 by Dona Caine Francis, MSN, PMH-NP/CS-BC